Mittwoch, 17. August 2016

Last but not least

Today or better tonight, this will be my last post. 
My year is over, almost . It´s not the end for sure, but my time as an exchange student in Finland is over. 
It actually stoppend 1month and 16 days ago. 
But it doesn´t feel like it. 
Sometimes I lie in my bed and I am not quiet sure where I am. 
But every morning I wake up and see. 
It is Berlin where I am, it is Germany with its german bread and german tv. 
It is pretty hard to write about something you don´t want to end. 
It was amazing and I wish the time there never stopped.
 I wish I could still go to the same school,see the same people, eat the same food, hear the same language, smell the same air, see the same buildings and go to the same shops. 
I whish I could expierence the same weather, the same winter.
 I feel at home in Suomi, in Vantaa and in Helsinki.
 I love my city there, I love everyone I got to know there. 
I love the finnish accent in german or english it doesn´t matter.
 I miss all that, every day by now.
 It´s hard but I can´t deny no one warned me.
 Everyone did and it´s impossible to believe, because most of us don´t understand the feeling of being home in two places.
 The struggle with your friends. 
The struggle going to the supermarket and saying every 3 seconds :
 ,, Oh at home we had this´´
 ,, At home this would have cost this much´´ 
and not to forget
 ´´ We also have this at home, great that you have this particular brand´´ 
without even noticing but the face your parents do.
 I wish I could do all the things again. 
I wish I could see lappland in the same way again.
 Feel the same way again. 
Cry the same way again.
 Feel lost the same way again. 
Struggle the same way and love the same way. 
I wish I could press replay and then stop, just to catch every second that get lost so easily. 
But time doesn´t work in that way.
 It´s there so we learn to appreciate the moment. 
It´s there to teach us it won´t last forever, so we need to make the best out of it.
 I grew up this year more then ever before, I see things in a different way.
 I have new ideas and a new life spirit.
 I learned what is important for me, at the moment.
 I know better who I am.
 I am more self confident. 

11 months are too short. 
It is a long way.

Be prepared...